Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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