3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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