We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
