I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize