Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
