I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
