I feel like abortions should bother me more
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
