that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
