the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
