got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
