i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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