Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
