then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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