He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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