You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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