Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just googled if crying burns calories
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
i think i just lost a toe
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
