your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
We just shotgunned beers for America
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
