do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
