You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
