And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
