when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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