awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
