Non-Jews are for practice
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
