I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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