i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Randomize
