Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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