I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
