Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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