I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
porn star boner night. come get it.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
They are going to name an STD after you.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
