its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
