ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Bring me that man meat
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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