I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
