i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
