I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
