Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
