He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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