Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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