im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
