omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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