Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
