Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize