so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
