i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize