Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize