his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
