Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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