We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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