Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
