I accidentally burped into my bong.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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