Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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