Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize