I think scott just propositioned me for sex
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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