To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
