so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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