She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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