He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
