Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
