bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
