I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
