the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
