I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It's never too late to be topless.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
