oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
